.Monday, September 06, 2010 ' 10:35 PM Y
Since I have no one to talk to before I sleep, I shall talk to my blog n pen down some thoughts :)
It's been a week since dear left. Hmmm things are pretty much the same, just that there's no companionship for whatever I do now and nobody to listen me out. I think I have cut my conversation by 70% the past week! And I have started to converse with myself more. N i kinda like the personal space that I can have. :) it's really hard to find someone whom u can pour out your soul. It's hard to share views when in the first place, there is no assurance that the other party will not get offended and no assurance if his/her faith level is able to take it. But I would say other than the emo part, I still believe this separation will make us better individuals. :)
When dear is around, he is always the nice person. I'm the bad one. He is always the one offering help, availing himself etc. Whereas I'm the more selfish one. When he is gone, I find myself more giving. Im able to give myself more freely to others. When he is around, he does the socializing n talking while I give that sian face. When he is not around, I engage with people more. Maybe he shouldn't be around too often yea? Haha. I always know I'm an independent girl but when he's around i tend to hide behind his charismatic nature. In any sense, I'm loving my life now cz I'm rediscovering myself again after 5years of being attached! I'm surprise by how I can keep myself entertain when he is not around! Not that the relationship is unhealthy, but such separation makes it more wholesome:)
I still miss my dear dear lots :'(
One week seems like one month. 14 more weeks.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
.Thursday, September 02, 2010 ' 10:27 PM Y
dear's so sweet! he seldom say it but i know it, and when he's away, he says it all! muahaha!
He says...
"Dear I miss you a lot! I dont know why, but in Copenhagen there are many babies on carriages who are handled by their parents. When I see the babies being taken care of I thought of you! You are so nurturing to me that I miss that portion of my life now that you are not around. Anyway, as I am writing this mail now, it is 619pm here. I went around some areas within the city to settle my registration stuff, check my building for the lectures and visited Hannah's apartment which is in a hotel currently. Dear, I think it is when you are not around that I will really know how much you mean to me. I feel abit lonely travelling through the buses and trains, and it will be so nice if you were by my side. I feel abit homesick now, I guess its really a big change and just the first day with my tired body (I slept like 3-4 hours in the plane) I already went to alot of places, so I feel kind of overwhelmed.
But I do have my personal time and space in my room (I will upload the photos shortly). It is really small. haha. Dear you are really precious to me, I may not be very expressive with my words but I do mean it =) Thanks for writing such a sweet letter for me to encourage me. You really have made me a better person, more street smart, more bold to try new things and more calculative (in a good way!). Tonight, I am just going to read some books and prepare my trip to school for some activities. I miss you dear and I want to hear from you real soon!"
and i went "awwwwwwwww...."
so far so good. im not feeling the effect yet. but when people start saying: "dont be sad, you will be alright.." im thinking must i not be alright? knowing its out of their concern, but somehow sometimes it makes me feel like im too weak to handle all these. a reverse effect uh. but frankly, i know i will really be fine. i have my own life to live too.
im kinda enjoying the personal space that i can have for myself to do my own things and think some deep thoughts on my own.
15weeks to go. whee~
