.Saturday, June 18, 2005 ' 12:17 AM Y
a sense of nostalgia. mixed feelings.
tt kinda feeling came back for a moment. i dun wana tok abt it.
jz wonder how ple can move on with life so easily. jz a glance at e fotos in frnster. evyone. yesh evyone seems to be moving on with their lives very well. including me. sometimes i miss em. all of em. but for a moment i tot to myslf.. tho i might be missing em.. i wun wan to meet em. at least for now. im scared. im scared tt we wun be able to rekindle tt kinda flame we used to have. wldnt it be better to hf tt kinda perfect feeling at heart rather than allowing reality to dash tt very last hope. hope of frnship. we might jz end up being acquintances.
wad are friends?
friends are seasonal companionship.
of cz there r still true frns hu r reali sincere abt e frnship we shared. u guys noe hu u r out there. simple msges. simple phone call. tts all. if u hf fulfiled e criteria.. yep. im toking abt u. =) well.. some ple might thk tt its enuf to hf someone crossed ur mind.. but frnship is nt jz faces appearing in ur mind n merely missing em. i prefer to see actions taken. at least let me noe tt im being missed. being valued.
hf been thkin abt my past. how my life was shattered. lots n lots. how i was bothered by thgs im nt supposed to be bothered by. how i was affected by thgs tt are nt supposed to be taken place. i hf made my way tru. to where i am. at least now i noe. i hf endured. i hf learnt.
i thank god. for giving me a new life.. unconditionally. im a better me now. i love evythg abt me now. tho its nt perfect.. i'll treasure all im given.
have been thkin alot. abt my past. my future.
i see wad my future holds.
i'll work towards it. =)
i thank God for evythg. His grace. His mercy.
.Monday, June 13, 2005 ' 11:33 PM Y
i realised i haven bn blogg for long. at least at tis one.
holidays so far.. nt so much of holiday-ing.
im suffering fr some post-emerged conference symtoms. i jz miss tt church conference. i miss queueing up in e carpark. picnic-ing in e carpark. pushing along e stairs n up e bus. dissapointment when cnt squeezed into e audi. lots n lots more. everythg. most impt i miss gods words. anw im readin tis book recently titled "top 200 most probing qns".. it was enlightening. i jz look forward to church svc evydae... i longed for His presence. =)
studies. thk im lagg. at least lagg behind my own time table. im gona catch up wad i've lagged by wed. yesh. i can. mugg jz mk me feel lk i look lk a book. i behave lk a book. i eat lk a book. i slp lk a look. i tok lk a book. i slp lk a book. well.. bascially im a book. so for those who hang ard w me (if u gt e chance. ha.).. pardon me fr being stony.. cz im jz a book. "handle tis book w care. im jz a book." or if u can.. u can try reading my mind lk a book.. tt will be best. den i dun hf to tok lk a book to u. =p hf been mugg.. haven bn toking.. thk im aboit zi bi now. even if im at home e whole dae i dun tok.. i dun lk toking. i prefer to be read.. lk a book. ha.
dsc! missssssss u guys so much. haven bn seein u guys for super long time. hf been rejecting u guys for e study grp.. yep im gona join u guys tml. pray hard tt i'll wake up in time. heex. sud i jz miss sch. apart fr all e tests n exams.. i miss every other thg abt schooling. classmates.. tutors..lectures.. tutorial.. leo.. even e food in e canteen n oppo sch. i'll go back to sch with my better self tis time. yeah~~
i feel so nerd now.
i guessed its time to be nerd too.
im glad tt im nerd.
are you?
if not.. its time to.
im gg off now.
to continue to be a nerdy nerd.
nights nerd.
.Saturday, June 04, 2005 ' 10:56 PM Y
saturday.
bored.
wanted to for leo concert. but i might attract unwanted attention n i might feel unfortable w it. but all i wan is to see u give speech. maybe u'll find it uneasy with me ard. well.. anw.. hope ur speech was impactful n powerful. =)
i replanned my hols timetable todae. dun thk theres enuf time. so for those out there who is readin tis n yet to start real work.. piece of advice.. i guess its time. ha. wrote down my targets for jct n a-levels n pin it on my rm's notice board. n some motivating quotes. ha. i guess i nid all these to sustain me truout my revision period. i'll take a look at it to kip mi motivated. (since i alr predicted tt i'll get stressed. ha.) all these will be e ingredients to my mind, heart, spirit n soul. yesh. i can do it.
oh.. my dad's a hero! ha. his heroic act mks me feel proud of him. (seems lk im proud of q alot of ple recently. ha.) anw wad im gg to say below is gg to sound dramatic.. but its true! well.. dad came home todae. n when he haven even enter e house.. he was lk boosting his heroic act to me. he put off e fire. in some house at e neighbourhood. some stranger's house. he was passing by n saw tis huge fire. called e police. while waiting for e fire fighters he went in n put off e fire w tis fire extinguish from of nowhere. how heroic~~ ha. e police actually tk down his ic no. maybe he's gg to receive some gd citizen award? ha. tt sound so dramatic. but its reli true. he got a nagg fr ma. heex. for nt considering his own safety. thk he got kinda annoyed. but he's a HERO. at least i thk so. ha.
im so gp today. gp homework. newspaper. newweek. gp notes.
yesh. im gg to start real revision. tml. yesh. i am.
holidays.
r over soon.
feels lk it.
.Friday, June 03, 2005 ' 12:17 AM Y
before i blog tis.. i jz pray tt God will gime e strength tt i nid to complete tis blog. i pray tt he will empower me n let me noe His will. im seriously gg to knock out soon with my own strength now. my own strength n heart are gg to fail me. but i jz wana blog all my tots down now. im on fire now. a sudden rush of ______. i duno wad word to use here. but i jz feel powerful now. thank god for tt. e cell group was reli a turning point for me i guess. im reli on fire now.
below r jz some powerful quotes tt i came out not myslf, but w His will n strength. i jz tot i cld share some w those ple readin my blog to get u guys motivated. be it motivated in studies (esp jct r coming up) or other aspects of life.
not just overcome,
BUT CONQUER. be a conquerer, in all aspects of life.
i
WILL do it. i
CAN do it. i
MUST do it. motivated i am.
have
NO DOUBT in my
ABILITY, for
GOD IS MY PROVIDER and HEALER.
seize
OPPORTUNITY to rise up to the marketplace.
do not be afraid to own
AUTHORITY. in order to
LEAD, i need to be
COMFORTABLE with it.
for now that HE has given me the
AUTHORITY, its time to do something. not for
MYSELF, but for the
KINGDOM OF GOD.
AUTHORITY comes about from
SERVANTHOOD. so
SERVE, and
TRANSFORM.
UNLEASH the
POTENTIAL. if not now, then when?
THANK GOD, for every trials He put us into. He gives us a chance to be anointed and see things in a different light.
THANK GOD that he
TRUSTS me to not just overcome, but
CONQUER.
its not just a matter of human heart or strength. its in the mind, the spirit and e strength of
GOD. " my flesh and heart might fail me. but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. psalm 73:25"
yep. tts all e powerful n motivated quotes tt came out fr me durin e past few hrs. its jz so amazing. its so different fr e normal crappish n childish me. i mean.. ya.. i noe im mature in my tots but tis time.. i wld sae its all so different fr jz mere "mature". its...
TRANSFORMATION. i noe He has His ways for me. but i might nt noe His ways now, i blif, with faith. i jz refuse to slp now. i jz dun wan tt on-fire feeling to go away n fade away in my dreams. i pray tt tis fire will continue to burn within me. within us. i noe tt u r reading this. i had a vision for us. we wld be different. from normal couples.
im on fire. on fire for GOD. He is just so ______. again duno wad word to use here. wad word is greater than great?
i LOVE You. for all e thgs you've done. im now a better person.
pray tt e fire within me continues to burn. n ignite.
amen.
.Thursday, June 02, 2005 ' 12:16 AM Y
i felt loved. loved by myslf.
i had evythg i could hf. i love god. i love my family. i love my dear. i love my friends. i love my life. i love myslf. i love me. wad i hf might nt be e best to others.. but they r e best to me. i love all abt me.
thank god ur love. u made me feel loved.. by giving me people who love me.. n making me feel worthy.
i love You. =)
