.Friday, December 11, 2009 ' 11:00 PM Y
the year 2009Dec is always a loved season. With all the Christmas lights and deco up everywhere and anywhere. The festive mood is in the air everywhere you go. The weather is so cooling with the breeze brushing through the air. and somehow, all these set me up in a "emo" state, and it's only right for me to take a step back and evaluate the year 2009.
2009 is a year which i felt that i have grown, in my thoughts and understanding especially. few days back when i met up with pst, suddenly i realised i understand most of the things he said. just a year back, sometimes i would leave the conversation with him in a state of confusion. but this time, i felt that i have grown and not just listen to his words, but understand what is "said" beyond his words. and during the conversation, i was brought back to times when im confused and somwhow i felt a small still voice inside explaining things to me which i have nv understand. i realised i have become more analytical esp after i started working. my world view began to expand and i find myself more comfortable when mingling and conversing with adults.
this year, i think i have became more vocal about my thoughts. i will always rem how God spoke to me at the beginning of my career about holding on to His truth and mercy, and how that would lead to favour of men and God. I realised its not just about holding onto the truth, but speaking the truth to set people free. i have used my mind more than ever as compared to uni days. in uni days, i only need to use my brain to memorise and understand the textbooks. but for this year, it was a great transition in my thought life. i find my values and principles being shaped daily.
also in this year, i found myself closer to my destiny,esp so after June youth camp. still rem how unwilling i was when i first was told to help out. but i just went ahead, and i realised what im good at and what im not. i realised i enjoy the stage, somewhere i nv tot i would feel belong to. i enjoyed holding onto the mic, engaging the crowds. nv did i tot that i would be good at hosting, until youth camp 09. one of the most generous praise for the year 2009 was from EVELYN, when she said "when huijuan host, it feels like NDP!"(yes if u are reading this, thanks so much! it is one of the comments which spring me forward to my calling i believe =)) and thats how powerful a generous appraisal can be. and also in this year, i felt that my creativity has blossomed, given so many opportunities in the zone.
as the year ends, my heart is fill with thanksgiving. and there are so many things i can be thankful for....
The Zoneit's always a place of opportunities and encouragement. nv would my idea be shot down and the people are forever so generous with the words. the env is ever positive. i began to appreciate the positive env more so after i started working. this is the place where i can find ple greeting me sincerely, where people will shout for me joyfully whenever they see me: "HUIJUAN!" "WOMEN!" "NGO HUI JUAN!" (mish, this is you!) and where people are always so generous with their hugs. where else in the world can you find hugs so freely? and the zone is always such a fun place to be at. though was affected by the "mulitplication" initially, i have learnt to just take it.
this is also a place where the leadership is always open to what i have to say. Pastor and Dev is always open for new changes and ideas, and always empowering the next generation. They are always so available and i always enjoyed the lim kopi sessions with them with no agendas. A large part of me today is the result of the grace and trust of these leaders in my life. It's truly not easy to be a leader of thousands, really appreciate all that they have done in my life.
Dear Dear!Dear dear if you are reading this, yeah its for you! you have been the most patient person in my life! (most of the time =p) thank you for standing my whining, complains, indecisiveness, craps, bullies etc. though ple might think that you are a man of few words, i think you are totally FUN! love the bus mrt rides tgt with you, when we invent all sorts of nonsensical jokes and games. (maybe its not reli a good idea that we get a car huh?) you are always there providing me support, esp tru my transition this year. even though sometimes you might not know what to say or what to do, your presence itself do make a difference =) wondering how can i survive 6 mths without you next year?!?!?!?!?! =(
W401you bunch of fun-loving peeps! you guys have been so faithful staying with me through thick and thin. i might not be the best leader, yet you guys chose to believe in me. you guys are forever so real, no pretense, and thats what i love. really enjoy the times we play and pray tgt. seeing all of you growing up is one of the greatest achievements in my life. from you guys in sec sch uniforms, to JC uniforms, or to uniform-less, to army, to university.. really hoping to see some of you getting your the other half soon! it's my pleasure to grow old tgt with you guys. you guys indeed brought youthfulness into my life. at times when i feel like giving up, the thought of you guys just made me wana stay on and fight tru. cant imagine what's life without all of you. next year will be a year of greater works together! =)
Abba FatherLastly but most imptly, i wana give thanks to my Daddy. He is always there for me no matter what. and thank Him for placing me in my workplace. Even this might not be the perfect job, but i do see myself growing and learning here. He indeed knows me the best, currently i think at least im doing sth i like at my job. Thank Him for always leading and guiding me at every step of the way, speaking to me so clearly at each point of transition. Thank You for all the challenges that You have set in front of me this year, which made me a stronger and a tougher person. You always knows what's best for me and You always work according to Your perfect timing. "Whom can i have in heaven but You? My heart and my flesh might fail, but you are my hope and my portion forever." You are always such a loving Father who allows your daughter to fall and yet still waiting patiently for me to get up everytime i fell.
to sum up, 2009 is indeed a year of growth in transition for me. i know there's greater things to come.
Staying close to You =)
